September 4, 2009

• Squirm

  Nice Blue Sky 

  Humor Warning for my ESL Students:  See if you can find cases of bad grammar and rampant misspellings galore.

  Dear Folks,

  My children are in the back room watching The Brady Bunch.  I sat with them a bit to watch part of episode 14 of season 4. 

  I am pleased to have had a very lazy, productive summer.  Last summer I taught at a camp.  They paid about fifty bucks an hour, but it was not worth it, considering the time I lost from my family.  My children gain great value from having me around under foot.

  Wish You Were Here

  My youngest son got a dollar this morning from an old lady.  What it was was, we was all sitting by this here bench, well ... we, me and My Little General, was on the bench, and they came up to us and started making faces at the baby.  He thirteen months, so he don't know what they saying.    Old lady offered him a dollar.  He don't know what to say.  He got hissef a pencil case in his hand and a piece a whole grain bread in the other.  He not gone let go that pencil case.  She rough.  She yank the pencil box out his hand and give him the dollar (South Korean dollar give or take a few cents -- "Cheon Eon Jah Lee" for perfected anal personalities) on account a how come why for she ain't gone be made to look funny.  He don't take the money and she feel funny.  He gotta take that money and be good.  Jerking a pencil box don't make no matter. He gone take the money now she done what start axing him to.  He ain't got no choice. 

  Beautiful Monastery

  Funny thing.  She go on her way.  He play round a bit.  Then he drop the dollah, 난 모르고.  We gets in our cart and goes on to the daycare. I leaves the boy there and be coming back.  Nother old lady same place axe me how come why for I beefa leaving the dollah?  

  So I say "thank you" and drop tin the cart, like a pretty stick a young child do give.  That when she just up and have to explain how the baby leave the dollar on the ground and that be the same dollah.  I say "thank you" again like I don't understand, being as we speaking the Korean, only think she wanna give me a dollah, not delighted, tickled pink to have my baby's long lost dollar back.  I smile real big and bona fide; she can't do no more.  She up and Stuck!  She sit there to this day squirming bout that.  Turbulence doth reign in her uneasy bosom. 

  Cock Fight

  Love, Padooker

  • 1:04 am
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