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Padooker
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Name: Padooker
Gender: Male
Interests: Studying Theology, Teaching, Writing, Swimming, Padook, Juggling, Whistling, and Cleaning and Organizing.
Expertise: This web site exists to provide a means for my students to stay in touch with me throughout life, and thus better continue their acquisition of English. When leaving comments, please be sensitive in your diction and judiciously abstain from gratuitously violent or prurient language. For example, instead of, "I think this group is a bunch of lazy idiots." ... Let's show some respect, and say, I felt this comment, by this particular fellow was a bit shallow [uninformed, short-sighted, etc.] because..." This way we must make the effort to provide convincing, rational reasons to back our assertions. Too, it's better exercise in writing, to rely upon precise words more fitting to our intent, than the so easy, inflammatory words used for name-calling or even four-letter words, egads.
Occupation: Mission Work, Teaching English
Industry: Mission Work in Education
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  www.lucidlanguagesociety.com
Member Since:
1/19/2007
 Lifetime
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| Dear Folks,  Little Christopher at the grave
I do not see how my wife will manage to pull through and do her academic work due this week. She has work due each Monday night at midnight. She has had difficulties in the past, but has always managed to pull through with good quality work in time. Too, I help her immensely, taking the children load off of her entirely while she stays up all night for several nights in a row, and sleeps during the day.  Persimmon Tree in the Military Cemetary
I seem to have the whole neighborhood of Noori Apartments “fooled” into thinking I am a "fantastic husband." I do what I can. And I know I am not perfect, but feel blessed by God to continue living and having a way to serve in love. The women here soon learned that I was not an adulterer, which is actually odd here in this neighborhood, where the men and women play as adults (in love hotels that are booked by the hour solidly) during the weekday afternoons while their children spend the whole day laboring in schools and then hagwons (private teaching institutes). I seem to have the whole neighborhood of Noori Apartments “fooled” into thinking I am a "fantastic husband." I do what I can. And I know I am not perfect, but feel blessed by God to continue living and having a way to serve in love. The women here soon learned that I was not an adulterer, which is actually odd here in this neighborhood, where the men and women play as adults (in love hotels that are booked by the hour solidly) during the weekday afternoons while their children spend the whole day laboring in schools and then hagwons (private teaching institutes).  Going in, to the Military Ceremony
Paradoxically, I have formed some very close relationships with women here since they have come to trust me eminently. And why not, as I am very much a worker in the traditional woman's role here, caring for my children. Their concerns are my concerns. We easily befriend each other being in the same boat for the love of our children. Too, most of the residents here have never seen my wife, even though we have lived here for nearly thirteen years.  Outside With My Wife
Loss of a Father: My father-in-law passed away this past week. That fundamentally altered the lives of me and my wife. He was a Buddhist all of his life, while his wife was a Christian who sought his conversion, which she got at his deathbed, when a South Korean missionary came in and read a statement of belief in Christ as the son of God and acceptance as him as one's savior. He repeated the statements word for word in his native Korean language, confessing his faith in Jesus Christ as his lord and savior.  Happy Wife with Youngest Child
This brought much relief to my wife and her mother, who both loved the man dearly. I, too, loved him, and cried at his passing when I took my children to pray before the altar where they enshrined his memory in the South Korean fashion. He told me to call him "Ahp-Bah," ("father" in Korean) upon the unexpected passing of my father a couple of years ago. He accepted me fully, and loved me voluntarily.  At the Apartment Before Heading Out
The only other time I have cried in my adult life was when I said good-bye to my grandfather fourteen years ago as I headed overseas to serve in South Korea. He, too, was a preacher, and we shared something very close in that. He was close to ninety, and I realized I would probably not see him again. He wholly approved my move to South Korea, and he alone seemed to understand my calling to labor here. It was plain to him and to me that God wanted me here, and I don’t think anyone else could have understood that at that time. Now, of course, it seems plain to everyone who knows me, as everything has worked out divinely. 
During the Harvest Moon holiday, we went to visit my parents-in-law, and my father-in-law said to my wife that he felt like my son, Jordan, did not like him. My wife told him, “No, he just does not show his feelings. In fact, he loves you dearly, as he prayed for you every single night to recover from your cancer and to live a long life. Apparently, it worked.” He was very impressed by that, according to her. I also, independently told him of that in the same day, and he asked Jordan whether that was true. 
He who cannot lie: As with Jordan, who, like my wife, for some quirky reason cannot lie (and sometimes bears an inordinate amount of stress for this inhuman “flaw”), he merely nodded his head “yes,” and my father-in-law fully understood the immensity of his grandson’s love for him. I believe this drove him to Christ perhaps as strongly as any other single factor. His wife had badgered him for years, and I must credit that, as much as her methods are loath to me. This does not mean that I am not a Christian and not a preacher, nor that I do not state plainly my understanding that one gains eternal life solely through faith in Christ. Only, that my sensibilities about this are quite different from hers. I believe one plain statement, at least for me, is more powerful than endless less direct attempts, as it seems to me. My father-in-law had an operation for cancer last February, and we all thought he was cured. His son actually knew that they had not gotten it all, but he lied to the rest of the family and to his father in order that his father might have a happy life for his remaining days and not despair over his impending death. And that is what happened, with my father-in-law doing an exercise programming, and refraining from smoking and drinking through that year. The surgery cut out some cancer from his stomach and a bit of his liver, but it had actually spread elsewhere. Lying is common here, which you can see in myriad ways, but is perhaps best documented in "A Country of Liars," from the Chosun Ilbo, an English newspaper here in South Korea, Land of the Morning Calm. Morality First: I teach ESL, but for my clients, ESL is distinctly secondary, as it has happened to transpire. I meet with mothers before agreeing to a contract. From the get go, I always made it clear that I understood teaching of morality as more important than teaching ESL. The mothers who hired me have made it equally clear to me that this was precisely what they wanted. They were more interested in their children acquiring what they understood to be the traditional American moral structure than English as a second language. To them acquiring greater facility with English was incidental to the more fundamental acquisition of a moral outlook that they felt unavailable to them here, through their almost rabid school system and private teaching system.  The Widow
I was not surprised actually, and too, I was actually somewhat surprised that I was not surprised. I was made for my job. I have worked with teens all of my life, as well as teaching some in preschool locations in North Carolina. The reputation I have built here has centered on this "morality class" assumption, and now that is the primary thing mothers expect from me. If they solely want ESL, I assume they go elsewhere. 
I have had a loyal following of many siblings and cousins in groups, where families built a tradition of hiring me to teach their children. Many students have I taught for more than five years in a row. I love that depth of relationship building in my work. In fact, my work does not feel like work in the traditional sense, although I pour the love of my life into it without sparing. I have always followed a knock-off of the Golden Rule, telling myself that I should treat my students as I would want my own children to be treated in each circumstance. That has enabled me to love them all the more. If Westerners ask, I tell them I teach ESL, which is true but does not give the full picture. The mothers of my students here know what they want and they rely upon what I give. Too, they talk now about when I leave and what they will do without me. It makes me want to stay, among other reasons to stay. However, I made a promise to my wife when we married that I would move back when the oldest child became of middle school age, as she does not trust South Korean Schools to be able provide an adequate education for her children.  
Learning Korean: Unlike other Westerners here, I learned Korean early on and have built intimate relationships with the mothers of my students. Korean is actually easy to learn if you just listen to what people say around you, but few foreigners ever learn more than the most basic expressions, and I don't know why that is. I suppose that they do not love South Korea; I do not suppose that they lack the intellectual capacity to learn Korean. If there were an evident way to earn more money, or if there were anything morally and culturally rather attractive on the surface to these people, I believe they would far more readily sign up for courses and crack a book on a regular basis. 
Out in the countryside I have once met a young woman from China who came here to marry a farmer. Talking with her, in a creek while our children played together, was fun. Her accent was strange, just like mine. But we knew all the words and phrases we needed to say whatever we wanted. Poor women come here in droves to marry older farmers and fishermen, who occupy the lower social class of this society, and have much difficulty persuading a South Korean woman to marry them. These people seem to pick up Korean rather easily, I think, because they gave themselves to South Korea without evident restraint. Other Westerners seem considerably less committed to the people and culture of South Korea, these being largely those who come primarily to teach ESL and enjoy a vacation of a year between undergrad and graduate school, or those who come to reap some of the many grants made available here by the government to lure foreigners to do scientific research and help inadvertently to teach English and proofread the English papers for publishing of South Korean researchers. Better in Death: This was an upsetting time in the sense that it disturbed our normal routine, but in a way that was lovely. I cannot say that it has been a difficult time, per se, as most funerals probably are. He was better off in death than he had been in virtually all of his life, as an alcoholic up until this final year. 
There is joy in our hearts in a way, as he gave a deathbed conversion to Christianity. He was a Buddhist all of his life, until the end. My wife and I both cried with unbridled joy. None of my children seem to have cried much, if any, though. I suppose they were unable to fully understand the man. Save the final year of his life, he was an alcoholic throughout his adult life, and he normally became somewhat removed emotionally during each latter part of the two three-day holidays, for the harvest moon holiday and Lunar New Year holiday. We took only a fifteen-minute subway ride to visit him for a day, but we only went twice a year. I know he loved them, though. Patriots Grove: I was put off by the indirect suggestion that South Korean women are not recognized for their patriotism on a par with men who served in the military. My father-in-law got a free place in a military cemetery, for having served twenty years. As we rode up through the cemetery, I noticed one section reserved for patriots, as indicated by the sign. I assumed it meant they had served in some especially honorable way, and endured some significant sacrifice, perhaps losing their lives in the process. 
As I understand patriotism to mean acts of sacrifice towards the end of the good of a nation. South Korea has a very low birthrate, just above one child per woman. The UN made a statement to the effect that the declining birthrates in developed countries was the most serious problem for mankind to ever encounter (maybe because only womankind can do anything about it with any real confidence and men feel a little out of control… dunno). Ennei-Wai, I suggest that women who have more than three children be considered patriots, given that more children is arguably the greatest need of our country right now. They should enjoy the same burial perks, a free spot in the Patriots Grove. That’s just my two cents worth. Living with a woman who gave birth to five underscores for me just how much of a sacrifice it is. You don’t go out to eat and you don’t harbor plans for European vacations or cruises along the Caribbean. 
Ponzi Scheme writ large: From what I understand, unlike the social security systems of Britain and Singapore (where the money the government forces you to save becomes your property and can be added to your will), South Korea and the U.S. operate on a grand Ponzi scheme, wherein the earlier you get in the better, and if you die right at retirement age without any dependents, the promise to pay you money is automatically forfeit. In order for a Ponzi scheme, we badly need younger workers. An ageing population spells disaster for a Ponzi scheme. 
South Korean Women Facts: If memory serves me correctly from reading South Korean news articles, ten years ago, only 13 percent of women age 30 had never married; whereas, that number is now forty percent. Too, women here earn only 62 percent of what a man of equivalent experience and qualifications earns. That is a great opportunity for nonsexist companies to hire up a wealth of talent on the cheap, and likely receive great workers who appreciate being paid more than the market divulges. Love, Padooker 
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Dear Folks, Here is my youngest son getting an introduction to two aunts on the maternal side of his family. He had a great time yesterday, getting loads of attention. He gets bored with the same surroundings so it was great for him to visit his maternal grandparents and drink up the attention. Below is another scene from that home. 
This is the kind of food we have, and we eat in the middle of the living room floor, in shifts. Men eat first, with women and children eating later. It's always been that way with cultures here, long before South Korea was ever a nation. Now, My Little General is peeking in my office. Everybody likes to come in here. 
We visited my parents-in-law's home yesterday to celebrate the Harvest Moon, part of a three-day holiday left over from pre-Korean, pre-Christian, primitive festivities and beliefs. Nobody believes any of the basis of this holiday anymore, but we indeed enjoy getting three days off.
 
My older children are getting taller.
Actually, my family likes it; whereas, none of my students enjoy it a bit. They don't know their families and relatives very well, and don't like them, prefering their friends. Too, there are no computers at the grandparents' homes, so they get rather bored eating and watching grandma's favorite soap operas, something we avoided by playing outside on the playground under a brilliant blue sky. I did some juggling, which made my arthritic back and fingers feel supple and young again. I even woke up feeling good. Maybe I'll juggle some more now.
We had a good time outside, where we took a lot of photos. I will send some, and also upload some onto my photo site: www.flickr.com/photos/wnlong.
We are getting closer to our grand exodus to the U.S. of A., perhaps one year later. Right now, I'm just trying to organize my photos better. They are a mess. I spend a lot of time with my burgeoning brood. We will probably look into doing some adopting, one or two girl South Korean babies, before too long. Gotta keep that brood a burgeoning, now. I'd better get off the horn and take our children to church now. We never miss a beat on that count, much like my father did for us when young, that and we don't miss a single bedtime Bible reading/prayer session.
My mother said to me this week that she can't imagine what it must be like to grow up without that. She says that to lack faith in God must just make people helpless in their daily lives. I agree; I would not want to go there. I can see the relative eviscerating effects more starkly around me here in South Korea, where people grew up in a culture that has had considerably less Christian influence over the years. It is impossible for the average secular-minded, ostensibly "non-believing" American, growing up in such a protected culture, thriving in a milieux of such heavy, long-term Christian influence, to fully realize the debt and advantages he carries.
It takes about ten years of adult life lived in a different culture to begin to get a good handle on it all, and that only happens when you make your paycheck entirely on the private market, where you enjoy no power advantage in monopolistic, captive audience demand. When you truly have to serve people in a market where they are completely free to reject your services, then you get to know them. Otherwise, you are at a colossal disadvantage, which is what foreign workers labor under here in the colleges and school systems, and even private hagwons, where they are hired to stand up, pat their bellies and rub their heads, parroting for the gawkers. It is absurd and does not serve those who would truly want to learn English. | | |
|  Nice Blue Sky
Humor Warning for my ESL Students: See if you can find cases of bad grammar and rampant misspellings galore. Dear Folks, My children are in the back room watching The Brady Bunch. I sat with them a bit to watch part of episode 14 of season 4. I am pleased to have had a very lazy, productive summer. Last summer I taught at a camp. They paid about fifty bucks an hour, but it was not worth it, considering the time I lost from my family. My children gain great value from having me around under foot.  Wish You Were Here
My youngest son got a dollar this morning from an old lady. What it was was, we was all sitting by this here bench, well ... we, me and My Little General, was on the bench, and they came up to us and started making faces at the baby. He thirteen months, so he don't know what they saying. Old lady offered him a dollar. He don't know what to say. He got hissef a pencil case in his hand and a piece a whole grain bread in the other. He not gone let go that pencil case. She rough. She yank the pencil box out his hand and give him the dollar (South Korean dollar give or take a few cents -- "Cheon Eon Jah Lee" for perfected anal personalities) on account a how come why for she ain't gone be made to look funny. He don't take the money and she feel funny. He gotta take that money and be good. Jerking a pencil box don't make no matter. He gone take the money now she done what start axing him to. He ain't got no choice.  Beautiful Monastery
Funny thing. She go on her way. He play round a bit. Then he drop the dollah, 난 모르고. We gets in our cart and goes on to the daycare. I leaves the boy there and be coming back. Nother old lady same place axe me how come why for I beefa leaving the dollah? So I say "thank you" and drop tin the cart, like a pretty stick a young child do give. That when she just up and have to explain how the baby leave the dollar on the ground and that be the same dollah. I say "thank you" again like I don't understand, being as we speaking the Korean, only think she wanna give me a dollah, not delighted, tickled pink to have my baby's long lost dollar back. I smile real big and bona fide; she can't do no more. She up and Stuck! She sit there to this day squirming bout that. Turbulence doth reign in her uneasy bosom.  Cock Fight
Love, Padooker | | |
|  That's a Pretty Pool.
Dear Folks, I took my burgeoning brood to Kyae-Ryong Mountain yesterday. Above is a shot of a small pool in the mountain creek. We did not hike up the mountain, though they have trails which allegedly lead to small peaks. We never do. Rather, we mess around in the valley, swim in the creeks, and generally have a good time. My children took two South Korean friends with them this time. Together with my five, that made seven children and
"lil ole no-count moi." We went by subway with a link to a bus on the periphery of town. We had a good time, but I believe I messed up my left knee, the good one, or I should write "the erstwhile good knee." That's entirely OK with me, though, if my body goes to pot, as I have incalculable satisfaction with my burgeoning brood. My wife's body seems to have gone to pot, as well, making it unadvisable to refertilize her henceforth. Therein, I am more inclined to formally adopt orphans and/or just take in some little street urchins under my wing ... though that may entail building a new wing onto my humble abode in the U.S. of A. And we haven't even built the ground floor as yet. Lately, I've been looking into moving to a drier area, in hopes that we could grow grapes better than in North Carolina, some place like Austin, Texas. Below is the majority of the group I took to the mountain valley yesterday. 
We got a few good shots, too, of the little tourist trap town at the base of the mountain, primarily for Western eyes who want to get a glimpse of South Korea that most Westerners seek out when they come here, the tourist spots. Here are two:  
It gets easier every year to walk through a tourist trap like this, to get to the real, natural pools on the other side, where the junky toys end and the dirt path begins. Actually the paved road continues one more kilometer upstream, following a creek until you get to a Buddhist monastery. However, they use modern facilities there, and according to friends of mine, are all about money, or extremely focused on maximizing their income. They get special privileges from the state to use national park land to gather donations from the public to support themselves. I doubt whether this actually does not weaken their ability to grow as a religious presence here. They have been shrinking rapidly, and one major reason is that virtually none of my young students perceive this religion as having anything to offer them from a spiritual, social or psychological point of view. I point out to my students the purported Buddhist emphasis on compassion and respect for animal life/vegetarianism, and both of those are a distinct turn off to them, the compassion in as much as they seem to suspect any serious entertainment of such may limit their potential income and access to "power," as they call future influence and superficial social esteem, and as for vegetarianism ... it just doesn't carry water, has no appeal; they love their meat, with steak being the runaway number one favorite food among my protégés. Nothing comes between them and their love of steak, or so they put it to me. I'll finish this post tomorrow if I can get to it. I thought it better to post a bit and add to it later than to post nothing at all. Love, Padooker  
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| Dear Folks, Today I have a chance to write a little, as my Korean teacher did not come to class. She may have the sniffles. About once a week, she does not show, so I get about four days a week of fairly good study. In fact, this is the best study I've had perhaps ever, on Korean. I am better at Korean, which makes me learn at a faster, and more enjoyable rate. I have some good texts. I am older and more mature ... do not expect magical leaps forward perhaps. I have a good relationship with my young middle school aged teacher (a student of mine for the past five or six years); we get along famously, with plenty of giggles and nice asides peppering our studies. That, and we both share a fondness for food (usually wholegrain bread and blueberry jam, and cappuccino, stick version) to spice up our study time. She is a great pleasure to be with, and that is critical in learning a language. In fact, I try very hard to focus mostly upon just this element in the classes that I teach: breaking down the affective learning barrier, which is in ESL parlance, the collection of fear-laden, anxiety-ridden, and animosity-filled psychological contents people carry in regard to their perceptions of contact with the culture(s) which represent native speakers of that language, in their unconscious. This barrier may not infrequently present a formidable barrier to acquisition of the target language. I do all I can to rub my belly and pat my head, smile, and bend over backwards to make my students feel not just comfortable, but entertained and delighted to be there with me. This is tricky, especially when you serve such a fractured, rapidly changing, heterogeneous population, as in South Korea, as when you teach such a variety of age groups, from widely varying backgrounds, the way I do. Hence, despite logging over 30,000 hours of actual teaching, I have continued to gain expertise in this ability to entertain South Korean students over the years. I believe the advent of TV had a homogenizing effect on the population here, but there still remain virtually insurmountable chasms between various groups. My students tell me of different types, with whom they "will have nothing to do." I believe that would change if they were forced to work together against some common enemy, such as a natural disaster, or something. But the way it is, they just follow their own groups in singular loyalty and do not seem to entertain the value of engaging those from different groups. Speaking Korean helps me immensely in coming to understand South Koreans. They do extremely poorly on English tests, relative to students of other nations,with the exception of perhaps Japan. One reason I conjecture is the greater difference in the grammar structure of their native language. Another could be their rote study methods, which unwittingly seem to engender a seething level of dread and distaste for authentic learning, represented, as it were, in their minds as being a meaningless repetition of memorization that has come to be, for them, anything but fun, perhaps solely because they did not individually "order" it. I know I love memory work. But then, I've nearly always focused on it as my servant, at my beck and call, utilizing it only when it suited me. Another factor which clarifies my perception here is the fact that virtually all of my hours of teaching experience here has been on the free market, where you sink or swim, live or die based largely on your most recent efforts and successes. Working on the free market is illegal for foreigners who are not married to South Koreans. However, this type of work has zero restrictions and helps in several ways when doing polling (both formal and informal), and gathering information about the society: 1. I choose the content of our class discussions -- particularly as they are too shy to oppose much, but I do have an eye for what keeps their interest. Herein, I stick to ultimately meaningful discussions, revolving primarily around moral and ethical considerations, with no topic off limits, and every slant designed to induce most fervent interest. 2. I do not "enjoy" the pacifying effects of working within a monopoly, as goes on in the public school system. They have little incentive to improve their teaching methods, and little reason to maintain vibrant interest. 3. Working in the privacy of my own home, and with group sizes (1-4) which are so small as to be exceedingly rare in public schools and illegal hagwons (small evening schools), I enjoy far greater lattitude to speak frankly, and more important, my students enjoy far more freedom to pursue "off-limits topics" and respond candidly. In a more formal setting, students are cowed by each other, with the heavily conformist strictures of this Oriental society, heavily influenced by Confucianism yet. Love, Padooker | | |
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