September 29, 2010

• To Market

   

  Yesterday, as soon as I got home, I peeled 6 peaches for my children to eat. They were rather large peaches, as it were, and I bought them in Cheon Men Dong, on the sidewalk from a man who had a truck full of fruit. I gave him 37,000 won, which included a 3000 won discount. He sold me a box of sweet grapes for 14,000 won, a bag of top quality apples for 9,000 won, and a box of superb, delectable peaches for 14,000 won.

  
  

  In list form that would be:

  About 17 Apples ---------------------- 9,000 원

  One Box of Sweet Grapes -----------14,000 원

  13 hefty peaches ---------------------14,000 원

    

  Riding home by Cop River (갑천), the vibrations of the baby seat on my bicycle made some soft spots on at least five of the peaches, given that they were quite ripe already.  This would be regrettable if you are one inordinately given to the divine, unassailable form of the perfect peach.

  In order that they not rot on me, I peeled them right away upon arrival at my home and doled them out to my burgeoning brood, who gladly gobbled them up with relish and gusto.

  Then, on the remainder of my way home, I stopped in at a weekly street market in the middle of Moo Jee Gae Apartments (무지개아파트), and paid 5,000 won for five packets of Sweet Rice Treats (Ddeok! 떡!) .   I gave 2,000 won for some Pong Tweegie Delight(퐁튀기), and my children found it scrumptious, threatening to devour it all in a frenzy, but my prescient nubile wife stepped in and nipped that less civilized behavior in the bud, insisting that each child eat a normal supper(Cheon Yeok Shick Sah) first.  

  It helps to know that my children are descended from Ghenghis Khan, with the four boys having each the characteristic blue spot on their rumps from birth, lasting a year or so before disappearing into history.  So, whenever they come home at the same time, say, from piano hagwon or swim hagwon, bursting in the door, they suddenly transform our tranquil, humble abode into a firestorm of mayhem, bedlam and your general pandemonium.  

  So be it, there is not much I can do, other than remark to Wifey, "Here come the Mongrel Horde!" as they, my children are all clearly mixed blood, with all the vibrant characteristics, hale and hearty immune systems, and statistically higher I.Q.'s (from a lessening in the tendency of regression to the mean of the population) purported thereof.  It is exciting, raising them all, but taxing to be sure.  

  For the record, I gave 5,800 won for a basket of 30 deluxe-sized eggs. Then, I got one rectangular brown patty of gelled Moo & Acorns, which purportedly is good for constipation.  When they tell me in Korean, "This is good for constipation!" (similar to shampoo, "for dry hair") I can never be sure that they mean, "This will give you constipation, and stop up your butt if you have diarrhoea." or, the more likely, "If you have constipation, this will help rid you of the pressing inconvenience at your inveterate fundament, and allow you to focus your attention in light of the visceral relief upon more pleasant sublimations for a time, until naturally you feel the need to gorge yourself upon vast quantities of cheese once again, beckoning a repeat of this sordid cycle."

  I continue studying Korean grammar and practice with sales ladies on the streets in order to bone up on my ability to communicate here with the natives in South Korea, Land of the Morning Calm.  We have been here 14 years, and my South Korean wife has decided it is time to leave.  I generally go with the adage, "If Mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."  So, it looks like we will break camp here next winter and strike out for the U.S. of A., Land of the Free, Home of the Brave, and whatnot.     

  Love, Padooker  

   

   

  • 3:43 am
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